Ever been cleaning the house and decide it is time to vacuum the couch? ok you know what? I was gonna write about that but now I am irritated at the spelling of vacuum, and decided to rant about stupidly spelled words. Such as ROADS... What the fuck is a RO ADD? And who the hell decided it was a good idea to spell beautiful with an E and an A? Why does kitchen have a T in it? Why are there three ways to spell to, too, two? And which is it dessert or desert? Why do they insist on making the English language so ridiculous?
And while I'm at it for those of you who decide to give me massive amounts of shit for pronouncing "barrette" as its spelled, piss off! It is not a burrette it is a barrette. The correct phrase is "all of A sudden" not "all of THE sudden" Stewie you're the man!
Why are they called appartments when they are all stuck together? Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways? Were the English just so keen on being the best that they had to tweak their language so no one but them could figure the freakin' thing out? Surely no one has that big of a superiority complex?
They're, there, their... four, four... eight, ate...through, threw, thru.... Light, lite... eye, I...bear, bare...flower, flour and then there are words that are spelled the same but mean different things. Such as file, pen, nail, pound...
And then we add slang words. Why do we add more when we can't even figure out the ones we have? Take for example the word dude. Depending on the inflection of your voice that word can mean anything from "Omg there's a scarey ax murderer" to "Freakin sweet you got an Ipod."
My favorite word of all... FUCK. There is a diverse word for ya. That one can mean "having sex" or things like "you are not a nice person" or "you did that wrong" or just a basic exclamation of frustration or elation. Consider the line from Boondock Saints "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" If you have seen the scene (see there it is again) the word "fuck" refers to like seven different things that had happened in the room. To which the man's counterpart replies "Thank you for demonstrating the diversity of the word".
When did we decide that "like" was an all encompassing word. It gets used as a preposition, an article, a noun, a verb and a God knows what else. Listening to kids talk, and I have heard myself do it too (and that pisses me off), "like" comes out every other word, right next to "um". That wasn't even a word to begin with. It is the demise of our society when Valley Girl speak and Homer Simpson's "DOH" are what mark our language.
I suppose the rant about the couch cushions will have to be postponed for a later date, because now I am too pissed at the English language to even bother typing.