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Juneau, Alaska, United States
Not too much about me to describe. I'm pretty boring, funny, but boring...

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm........

What is the difference between a normal candle and a soy candle? 
How do you make shampoo without soap?
Why is it always corn?
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?
Why did the chicken really cross the road?
What is the point of decaffeinated coffee?
Meatless meat?
Why do dogs chase their tails?
Why do we cry when we feel things?
White with black stripes or white with black stripes?
Undead... wouldn't that be alive?
Red Sox or Yankees? DUH!
Where did they get the name platypus? And while we're at it what the hell is it?
Why can't lions purr? (I actually know the answer to that one. Thank you Discovery Channel)
To be or not to be? OR Too be or not too be? OR Two bee or not two bee?
Why are their foods that we can't resist?
Why do we look up when we are trying to spell something?
Why do people have to touch fresh paint?
Who the hell are they and Murphy? And why did he get to make all the rules?
Why is the word penis funny?
Why do we laugh at fart noises?
Do farts have lumps in them?
Was it really the dog?
If cat's are connoisseurs why do they lick their butts?
Why does cheese have power?
Where is the beef?
What if beef isn't what's for dinner?
What if the hokey pokey is what it's all about?
Why are farts wet?
Does a bear shit in the woods?
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a prostitute?
How do you make a whore moan?
If you choke a smurf what color does he turn?
Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Where is the end of the rainbow?
How fast is God speed?
How many is a handful?
Do monkey's really understand sign language?
Can you ever just be whelmed?
Why are people surprised when their pet's hair gets tangles?
Why  is everything part poodle but no one likes poodles?
Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why are the obituaries found in the living section of the news paper?
Do one handed people get offended if the police ask them to put their hands up?
Where do people in Hell tell other people to go?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
At a movie theater which armrest is yours?
Why do doctors leave the room when you change?
Where does the toe tag go if you don't have toes?
How far east can you go before you're heading west?
If girls with large breasts work at Hooters, do girls with one leg work at IHOP?
If pro and con are opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?
If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
What's the difference between normal ketchup and fancy ketchup?
If a transvesite goes missing, would youu put their face on a carton of Half and Half?
Are eyebrows considered facial hair?
Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions? 
Why is sandwich meat round when bread is square?
Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
How can something be "new" and "improved"? if it's new, what was it improving on?
Why is it that when we "skate on thin ice", we can "get in hot water"?
If laughter is the best medicine, how do you die laughing'?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies?
Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?
How fast do hotcakes sell?
Do prison buses have emergency exits?
If a stripper gets breast implants can she write it off on her taxes as a business expense?
Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?
Do you wake up or open your eyes first?
Why do overalls have belt loops?
Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
What do people in China call their good plates?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
Do butterflies remember life as a caterpillar?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
And finally...
What is another word for "thesaurus"?

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